First chapter

A cry. A gasp from the cushion of the bed you’ve been assigned. You realize the obvious: she is not there. Hector, you’re just completely abandoned. You’ve had guilt. There is no need to cry, no. Leave pass the time and heard the noise of the wind through the bars of the window. An aluminum frame that closes your hopes, that prevents you from returning to previous life. Again, silence. The wind has stopped, and with this, your tears. I heard nothing. No sound element that disturbs the quietness of the place. A mysterious aspect has increased because the fog kept you all day away from seeing the sunlight, a strange fact in the city where we are, because the sky is always clear. Fontcalent prison, where we are right now is in the midst of an empty space where the clouds move very quickly. It is an area where it never rains and winds, but when it does, the boulevards of mud filled the roads and highways. In the building where you are is very hot on a day like today: east wind blew and a huge cloud cover has permeated the air humidity into your cell. The cloud that has carried the air of this has little height, that’s why you cannot discern, through the small window the silhouette of the mountain that names the prison. From the first day you came into custody like every day, now three months ago, you see the skyline from the top. Feel the outside viewer, from the narrow framework which renews the air you breathe.

Do not know if it’s because of the time, but the truth is that today it does not feel right. You asked not to leave the yard this morning and stay locked. The sun turns me off: is the only company you have been over the months of isolation. His absence has caused you a headache, also the memory of your wife. The pain is not caused by the suffering of being closed at all. You’ve decided to turn away the world. No Mary, no sense fighting to be free. Certainly you could have paid the deposit, in fact, have some savings that would allow continued outside while you were pending trial. But they want to do, you have chosen well: you will stay here the rest of your fucking life. Now that she is dead, you got it clear. Want to spend the day in bed and do nothing more. However, you cannot even imagine that an unknown and unexpected visit this afternoon will break the peace we now feel. We spend hours just in time for all begins. Savor it, the power of silence, the real.

It’s six o’clock. It’s time for prison visits. In a small room with a table and two chairs in the midst, you walk through the door and you find a girl sitting in front seat left empty. That chair is for you, Hector no doubt. Do not know the real reasons for her visit, it has damaged your solitude. At lunchtime, you have been warned: a new advisor of the private agency working while, you instead want to talk. It will be your replacement? No, you win. I never want to see anyone of that damn office where you have been held for years without seeing the sun. Despite the surprise announcement, has agreed to a visit. You do not know very well why you did. But who is that woman that waits? A person, after all, who wants to talk. Want information about an issue you had on hand until the last minute. Do not look know secrets of your past? You had enough with the police interrogation. No, this girl does not look like a detective. I accepted long ago because he did not speak with anyone from the street. Since you came, no one has come to see to know how you were. Neither does his daughter, Sandra. Feel lonely and disappointed, like a hermit in the middle of the mountain, flying from your past, your present. Finally, you feel while listening to the sweet voice of guest:

“Mr. Hector Soler suppose”.

“I myself.”

A short answer by the uncertainty surrounding, that identify the long haired brunette who has come looking. You just know that it has identified the prison guards as a consultant and co-worker of yours, but do not know.

“I’m Laura Ferrer.”

“A pleasure, Miss Ferrer. I have the pleasure to meet you, but I am told that is covering my floor … Voluntary say. They have left it too late unaware. At least you’ll enjoy you more than I did in that dark room.

Ferrer. Laura Ferrer. A name that inspires confidence, that fills you with memories of beautiful women. As your wife, poor Mary, when you met was so happy as the girl in front of you now. No, Hector, it is not Mary, is Laura, Laura Ferrer, and make your work, you will not return, because you want to know anything. Show yourself on the defensive, she has come out information, like all you have spoken since the death of your wife. You cannot forget, in prison, after his disappearance, chose to stop thinking about it, erase the past tense. You have not yet achieved the image of the young visitor you reminded her face again. A glimmer of hope has lit up your mind. Although his first words, just not clear who that young woman who dresses elegantly, who sits in the chair opposite and leaves break down their arms on the table that both you share. It seems he wants to be near you, touch you. A voluntary desire of contiguity, of trust, with a woman who is the first visit you receive in that hideous space. A person who has been interested in you! A rare company, indeed.

“Thank you for your kindness. You are absolutely right, but not distant to me. We know it is true, but you …

“You can talk to you. Moreover, I beg you, please … I heard that you are a consultant to the agency. Guess you do my job.

“Yeah, well … I am advising stay. But I have your powers.

What you need, then, from me?

“Some information, only.

“I sent the damn Pedro? O Felix? Can not find in any paperwork? He left everything ready when I threw her out!

“I know, Mr. Soler … However, Hector … I have come here because of him, Felix Asensi, and his partner, Mr. Peter Carratalà. Well, I’ll be honest and direct. I have used the pretext of your old job to come … Do not be surprised, please. Do not say anything if you complain about me, me out of here! I come to visit as part of my job. They pay me to make you a little conversation. I know it’s a bit difficult to understand, but it is my profession. I’m visiting people, say, solitary … I had to take the excuse that I’m your substitute, but not true. I only come to keep you in company.

“Do not quite understand. You lied to approach me? Psychologist and you want to study like a strange animal?

“No, Hector, no. It’s simpler than that. Someone who cares about you like: you’re not alone. I have asked you to talk at least once a week. It is good to be out of touch with the outside world. Since you’ve entered the prison, no one has come to say hello.

“You’re too young to have seen Breakfast at Tiffany’s, if not say you look like Audrey Hepburn when you visit this mobster in jail for money …

“No, but I read the original novel by Truman Capote on which they filmed. It is so odd that someone visits a prisoner …

“You and I have nothing in common. Why have you lied to get in?

“I feared that my visit is not accepted. If you had been told was a stranger, I could have

been rejected and would not have had the opportunity to meet you. You told me you had a character a little difficult.

I see that Peter and Felix still speak well of me …

“If I’m here is because of them. Felix did not put any problem in me a letter of recommendation from the private agency that asked for this visit.

“It’s them who sent you?

“Not exactly.

-My family? Sandra, my daughter?

“It does not matter who sent me. I just want to accept my presence one day a week. That’s what I have called and what they pay me no more, no less … for an hour. Can have fun if you like. Talked and talked. Tear off your loneliness. Accept the game, you have nothing to lose, only your silence. It’ll be nice … I have a lot of conversation, you’ll see! ” A dry silence between them no one speaks. You are afraid of losing your privacy, your inner silence. In the months that have coexisted with other prisoners, has made few friends, like Estanis, the cellmate. You’ve never been a man too open, true, but since you came into it, do not feel like talks. You spend the morning in the courtyard with the cigarettes that make you smoke. Estanis complains about the smell and your cough is increasing. You drown every morning when you wake up and blame the partner make you blood boil. I never liked that you accuse of anything and less nonsense, and smoking excessively. So you have endured better than you thought you’re accused of murdering your wife, that’s a significant reason to get someone’s reproaches. Estanis begins to know and as you throw a look of distrust, shut up. Perhaps you have a little fear. You’re a murderer, so it starts running through the courtyard of the prison, a place now that have gone the winter months, the sun has been your best buddy. Feel his skin burning on the returns you desire to live, to move forward. A feeling that you lose when you remember Mary … This girl wants to establish conversations with you weekly. What made it stranger! Audrey Hepburn is visiting a bastard like you … Comes to mind the hilarious scene in the movie … You leave seduced by the opportunity that fate has offered and you accept. Yes, sir, is a very beautiful young woman. Why not accept it? A new friend, maybe something else? You’re not old enough to love affairs, even less with a young woman who can have more or less, a few years older than Sandra, your daughter.

“Excuse me reiterate: Who told you? “Who pays to come? Obviously you do in vain …

“Of course not, because I told you. But do not think I care to. I think both can be great friends. They gave me five cents of what you have spent.

What have they told you? All are lies. I know, everyone hates me. My wife’s family never loved me, also friends. Peter Carratalá and his partner, Felix Asensi, I’ve always envied. Customers wanted me, not them, for many studies that had!

“Relax. It is when talking about your old job.

“If my memory has been the pretext for which you came … I do not deny that they have had something to do! Basta! I’ve already given my reasons. Want to come to see you or not?

“Let’s say I do not care. Tell me! What have they told me?

-Little things … some gossip that I may serve to start our friendship.

“I do not want to be your … friend!

“You’d better consider it. I’m a good friend of my friends, a sister …

“Obviously you know sell! Can´t say no.

“I have explained that you like playing chess. Not true?

I can not remember. Do not you want to play with.

“You can talk to you, Hector, as you asked me before. I have twenty years younger than you. Want to request a game of chess?

“I will not play or do anything with you, Laura. I do not know because I have accepted your visit. I should have guessed that was all a trap and Pedro Felix. They want to stop from sinking! You want to leave ya? Please! I have a headache. Right now ask the guard to take me to the cell. And if I want to help, go away and not come back. I will say that you come and pay you well, but leave me alone. If he pays you not come, do not need to send anyone. I’d rather be alone, I’ve got friends. I do not want compassions hypocrites.

Want to go, stop talking about that woman who did not expect. Upgrades arms on the table and prepare your hands to get up. It has raised the tone in the last sentences, you’re happy, you know control you. Perhaps it’s the first time you do not speak out loud. It is also true that since the death of Mary, you’re not angry with anybody, with Estanis he does not complain when you cough every morning. When the commissioner accused you of the death of Mary, also showed no anger. I was accepted. For researchers the reality was clear: you’d launched by the balcony. Not refused, you assumed that and do not know the reason for your behaviour. Maybe because you knew that with the disappearance of Mary, life had just, left to make sense. You no longer had time for anything else, just had to wait until you turn the day to day. Please note that come into custody, which is pending a trial that could take a long time, but preferred to stay forever in this secluded falls surrounded by wasteland. As you get up and you intend to leave the visiting room, you realize that has not yet sunrise. As this place is ugly, sunless … “Who would have the idea of building a prison in a place so barren? At least when it is sunny, has a little life … Today was not done and therefore have accepted the visit of an unknown. You had nothing else to do, or on the patio you’d want to go out. If I had sun had not accepted the visit, of course. Perhaps you’ve walked.

Laura reacted quickly and forcefully grabs your hands while you look for sure.

“Do not get up … Stay down, Hector. Yet I have not finished my explanation. Can´t be rude to me. I need to come to see you. I need to keep this job … It’s my way of surviving. You’re not the only prisoner I visit. I know its strange first date … You get used to, I’m sure like everyone else. Can be great friends, Hector. Know we have many things to say I wish we know, a little more, if you …

Laura you looked sweetly. Some time ago a person, a woman, you did well, with watery eyes. When you met Mary, was also captivating, confident, and both tender. The guest is beautiful brown skin under insinuates a woman who is conscious of her charms. Her eyes are black, the hair is smooth and takes longer. You feel attracted to a girl who has an elegant posture, which should return men mad. Hector, you are a normal man and see this attraction, though much younger. Are rounded look at her breasts, you would like to touch them. You two are alone in this small space. Could you do that, but you are watched, you know. It is not normal that a prisoner touch her breasts to a stranger. It is not clear how he would react. For a moment imagine that perhaps on a future occasion, on another visit, if there were other students in the room … A contact visit, only two … You cannot do it, you cannot.

Remember the youth of your daughter, the same as Laura … Do not know why but obey. Rather than get up and go, and where do you sit. Laura takes your hand. Asks you to stay a little longer, until it is the hour when no other choice to go until next week. The gentle touch of her skin, like a kid, you brought back childhood memories. The first time you took a little girl’s hands were those of the neighbor’s daughter, Mrs. Xelo.Do not remember the name of the girl, but still feels the warmth of the hand when were at school with him. The mother, a good friend of yours, you had asked if you could help her cross the street. Xelo cleaned a small dental practice since the early morning and could not. With the touch of Laura, that reinstates a sense of pressure that rewards you little girl’s hand tightly before moving across the avenue. Without the mother, was afraid. That girl had no hair, tender, soft, scented jasmine, and all his family, who were always perfumed. How different life was in your house! Your father always came home drunk after work at the cement factory. After eating, a good time to sleep on the couch during hours and no one could wake him up. Everything he touched smelled the breath given off, is felt throughout the house. The mother became used to: the neighbor said proudly that her husband, your father, he drank, but never hit him. He respected, though his breath and clothes, was full of bitter drink. A sour smell of gall mixed with the smell of cheap alcohol it took them every day. Everyone at home are used to, you, Hector, you never did. Silently, I hated your father. I Did not understand because he had returned from the war, after a few months of her dead. He had been left out of the camp, had helped one of the officers, a relative of the family who had deserted the Republican side. If he was not returned, he had not been conceived. If you were born in another family, your life would be quite different. You had not known Mary and now you would not be jailed, have done studies and would have traveled around the world. Because of your father, who returned after the war, were born in that damn family and your whole life was shit. Now you’re locked, you have to resign, it is your fate, like your obnoxious parent … A disgusting father smelled of alcohol, while your neighbour smelled like a jasmine, that’s why you liked to hold her hand when you crossed the streets … Laura also seems to use some perfume of flowers, a delicate fragrance that brings memories of the past, far away. For the first time since you were in prison, you feel at ease. Te samples, thus a bit more relaxed.

“I want you to come forward to our appointment. Because you want him back, is not it? You have nobody to look to the outside world, remember? Only me. Take a red dress … To your health. I know you like women wearing that color, as I also know that you play chess … I’ve lied before. Some Sunday afternoons you were going to make a game with some friends, so that your wife and daughter were already accustomed to not tell you when they were going to the movies or visiting your family in law.

“Obviously you’ve talked to my daughter! But do you know this from the red dresses of Mary? Sandra … cannot be!

“Like I said I know very well your interests, your tastes. Who pays me has given me clues for us to know faster. You had to talk about. I know what you said as you were going to play chess … Perhaps not entirely true, but I do not care if you lie! We must be good friends to spend an evening together, delicious, pleasant. It is the best to let you have secrets between us, do not you think?

-I don´t know anything about you, Laura, only your name and surname.

“I’ll go knowing, Hector. For the moment, you know I have twenty-five years. Also know my face, my black hair. He fancies about my eyes, it is true, as I realized watching him of every movement of my eyes.

“You … you, do you know me? You’re a whore? Yes, that is, someone wants to laugh at me and sent me a bad woman. Do not call Laura, sure you have another name. The only use it for work … to fuck guys, but I do not have. I know you too well. You are all alike, for money can do anything! Okay, Hector has learned. Over time, you’ve got to talk without shouting or raising the voice. As he pronounced the words, you are aware of the change. Despite the discomfort you feel about the situation that, you’re still sitting and watching the stands instead as Laura in a very leisurely.

“I think you have not understood. Everything will be a matter of time. I might not be the Laura you see now, but I can confirm you that I do not warm panties. I know we all think, the first day. I surprised that someone can be kind to you.

In here you find only loneliness and I will try for an hour, just time of our visit. Goodbye, Hector, up on Wednesday. Have a good week.

Why you will come Wednesday and why not another day?

Laura cannot hear you, at least, has done as if you do not listen. You have uttered the last words with great stealthy, while you lower the head in an unconscious attempt to hide, to disappear from this room. Got a bit scared, that conversation has been updated who wanted to destroy the memories. Feel the power of the silence of a room just stay empty. When you return to lift his head, the guard enters the camera and announces that you must return to the cell. The visit is over, Hector. Until next Wednesday, when your past it comes again. Throughout the week, you will think again, something that terrifies you. You wait impatiently for the night to sleep, to stop thinking, to hear the pleasure of silence.